::Me:: What I've Learned...About Myself

I’m 34. It’s so weird to see that number because I don’t feel how I thought 34 would feel, in reality I don’t know what 34 should feel like. So much about life is different from what we expect it to be.

Time flies by. I know that is such a common saying but everyone says it because it’s so true!

I recently found myself referring to someone that is 26 as “about my age”. That’s not true obviously. Someone that is 26 is eight years younger than me but that’s honestly what it feels like. However looking back it does make sense that I’m 34. I’ve been out of college and in the working world for over ten years. I have been a mom for four years. I have been with my husband for nineteen years and we’ve been married for ten of those years. Not to mention the countless life lessons I’ve learned about the world and also about myself.

I am a procrastinator. I never really gave myself that label before but over time I realize that I push everything down to the wire. If there is no deadline, I accomplish most of my goals eventually but if there is a deadline, I’m usually working right up to that moment, maybe a few hours before. My work day usually begins with catching up on Facebook and the news rather than knocking out my list and using any free time at the end of the day to catch-up.

I am introverted. I’m friendly, chatty even at times but for the most part I want to keep to my world (my friends, my family, my turf). I make plans with good intentions but usually have thoughts to cancel. If I don’t cancel, I usually do have fun but sometimes in the moments leading up to it, I have second thoughts and regret committing.

I love Pinot Noir and I love knowing which wines I love. I also love that I know which wines I like best with which foods.

I value friends but I’ve learned I can break-up with a friend if it’s in the best interest of both of us and that’s ok. Friendships are needed in those moments you just need a reprieve; whether it be a break from work, kids, or real life, friends are there. Friendships are easy and natural and for the friendships that are not these things, it’s ok if they are no more. Life is too short; time and energy too limited to be expended on friendships that aren’t enjoyable.

I love Target, like LOVE. I love that I can redecorate my patio while picking up wipes and yogurt. I love that I live three miles from one. I love that I can peruse the aisles with a Starbucks tea and a cake pop. I love that my girls love Target as much as I do. ::keep up the good work Target::

I find peace in a good book and I’ve learned that a bath can heal almost anything.

I value people. I will not put others down to make myself look better and I will not step on someone to get higher. I put family above work at all times. I know I only get 18 or so years with my girls and no job or promotion is worth missing out on any moment with them.

I do not have a poker face. I wear my thoughts and emotions and it’s felt in my demeanor. I do not play games and I am genuine.

I am capable of more love than I could have ever fathomed 15 years ago. I love my husband more every day. I love my girls each so much. I love my family and my friends. I love this life I have built with them.

I am so blessed to have all I do. Who knows where I’ll be in another ten years but based on the last ten, I look forward to seeing it.

::Henley:: Our Breastfeeding Journey

It's coming to an end and it's so bittersweet. For the last year, I have been the main source of Henley's nutrition. I have provided her with everything she needed for the first six months exclusively. It is now coming to an end. While I am super excited to have my body back, I am extremely mourning the end of this relationship. The end of lying in bed nursing her while snuggling so sweetly. The end of nursing her while rocking with lullabies playing in the background. The end of her rubbing me as she nurses so sweetly.


 I wasn't one of those people who always knew they would breastfeed. My mom never did it and it wasn't something I gave much thought to. Over the last 10 years or so, I have really become more conscious of what I am consuming and putting into my body and with this conscientiousness, I have learned that nature really knows what it's doing. When I got pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed and started educating myself right away. I read articles and blogs, discussed with friends, and took a class at the hospital. All of these were instrumental in preparing me for the journey I was about to begin with Henley.

When Henley was born, I was lucky enough to be able to have immediately skin to skin contact. I held her in my arms for a full hour (God bless my husband for giving me that time!). She latched immediately and nursed for a good thirty minutes or so. From then on this bond was created.

When we were in the hospital she nursed every one to two hours and continued this at home. Sometimes in those first few weeks she would nurse for 30 minutes straight every 45 minutes. It was exhausting, tiring, and at times painful. I worried she wasn't getting enough, wasn't gaining weigh fast enough, was overeating...actually I just worried. Being a first time mom brings so many unknowns but I have learned that mama's usually know what is best.

Henley nursed steadily every two hours until she was about nine months old. She almost always wakes one to two times a night still to nurse and nurses (almost) to sleep every night. She loves it!

As I rocked her tonight as she nursed, I kept thinking how crazy this life is and how fast it goes. She will be one in two weeks and I know I will look back on this last year with love, pride, and awe thinking how blessed I am to have been able to do this with my daughter as long as I did. Not everyone has this chance and I am so appreciative that I did. I truly love being a mom---it is definitely what I was meant to do!

Mere :-)

::Henley:: 30 Things I Want to Teach Her

Here we are in July and Henley is almost seven months old. In the months leading up to her birth I would have thoughts here and there about what having a girl would mean. If I saw a news story about a girl falling victim to bullying I would immediately put myself in that mother’s shoes. I have pondered what her personality would be like---would she be girly or a tomgirl, ballet or soccer? In all of this wondering, I have thought about things I want to teach Henley, my daughter.

So here it is---a list of 30 things I want to teach Henley, some sooner some later. (in no particular order)

1. How to swim

2. To braid her hair, pluck her eyebrows, and paint her nails

3. How to tie her shoe laces

4. How to bake the perfect chocolate cake

5. How to make croissants

6. That it’s ok to fall in love at 15…or at 30

7. That travel is the most eye opening experience ever

8. To accept everyone no matter how different or unpopular they are

9. That she is beautiful and enough and perfect just the way she is

10. How to sew

11. How to drive (like mama of course!)

12. How important it is to have an opinion (preferably one of her own)

13. To have a passion for life

14. To try most foods, at least once

15. How to budget and save money

16. The importance of working hard for something she wants

17. How to give people the benefit of the doubt while not being too naïve

18. That it’s ok to cry to express any emotion whether it be happy, mad, or sad

19. How to perfectly wrap a present

20. How to climb trees

21. That sometimes the best comfort foods are milk and cookies

22. Go with your gut!

23. Don’t take life too seriously

24. The importance of wearing sunscreen

25. That a bath, a good book, and a big glass of wine can fix almost any problem

26. Never forget to laugh

27. To have something she does that is just for her

28. That having a few best friends is better than a lot of mediocre friends

29. What true love looks and feels like

30. That I always will have her back

Life is tough and there are so many things I am unable to control for her but one thing I can do for her is give her the tools to make the right decisions in her life. I prayed for this little girl to get here in my arms safe and healthy and I still pray for her every.single.day.

Mere :-)